


Memento Mori

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-28
Updated: 2008-04-08
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Separate vignettes. Join the Marauders, Lily, Tonks and a host of our dearly departed favourites as they stumble through a little thing called Death, which is not all it appears to be. RR please!





	1. The Gate Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Disclaimer: Anything that is in any way affiliated with Harry Potter (I’m talking characters, setting etc.) belongs to JKR. I just like to play with her ideas.**

****

 

_If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

– I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Death Cab for Cutie ****

****

**The Gate Keeper**   
_1 November, 1981_

James woke up suddenly. He was lying, spread eagled, on his back. The ground was cold and hard beneath him, and possibly a little bit dewy. All he could see was green: a blinding green flash of light that burnt into his corneas, as if he had been staring at the sun for too long. He attempted to sit up, feeling dizzy. Remembering the words of his wife, medi-witch extraordinaire, he sat with his head between his knees, breathing slowly.

 

James blinked for a few minutes and slowly, his sight returned. He felt nauseous in the pit of his stomach. He looked about, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose in an attempt to see further, but all he could see was fog and the damp, wet grass beneath him.

Someone moaned, and he stood, moving blindly toward the noise on unsteady feet, hands stretched out in front of him.

 

“James?” a familiar voice cried through the dense white clouds, shrill with fear. “James!”

He moved swiftly towards the voice, and moments he later collided with a petite figure. Without hesitation, he scooped her up and wrapped her in his embrace, full of relief and love.

 

“Lily,” he breathed. “Lily, you’re here…”

 

His heart swelled with a great heavy sadness. He felt guilty to be glad that she was here with him during this: and terrible. The terrible knowledge hit him like a bludger to the heart… _he had not saved her_ …

 

“Peter,” she croaked, sounding heart broken. “ _How could he_ , James? Our friend-“ she sobbed. “Our friend…”

 

A lump formed in his throat, and anger welled at the thought of that – _that man, that traitor_. James was numb with disbelief – as if in a dream, he was lost, and his only instinct was to keep as tight a hold of her as possible. Kissing her hair, he suddenly realised someone was missing.

 

“Lily,” he murmured, setting her down and gripping her shoulders urgently, bending forward so that they were eye to eye. “Lily, where’s Harry?”

 

Lily sniffed, and shook her head hopelessly. “I don’t know,” she wailed, peering anxiously into the enveloping white mist. James felt his heart break all over again. Harry – _his Harry_ , _his son_ … how could he grow up now? “I can’t hear him! James – do you think we’re really- _gone_?”

 

Hopefully, their son had survived, although James knew this hope was irrational beyond all others. Was it too much to ask, that at least, they could all be together through this?

But Harry did not seem to have followed them.

 

_Small mercies_ , James’ mind registered blankly. _At least our son can live_.

For now.

 

“Shhh,” he silenced her soft crying with a gentle finger to her mouth. “Can you hear that?”

 

Surely enough the sound of footsteps echoed through the fog.

 

“Hello there!” a voice called, and a lantern appeared from out of the closest thick white cloud, followed immediately by a hand and some feet. A man emerged, in what looked to be fishing gear, smiling encouragingly – and looking, in James’ opinion, disgustingly cheerful considering the circumstances.

 

“Oh thank goodness!” he sighed in relief. “We heard you arrive, you see, but you appear to have missed the terminal – come along, then!”

 

Lily and James exchanged apprehensive looks. “Who are you?” Lily asked, her voice wary.

 

The man with the lantern gave them an encouraging look. “Me? Why, I am the Gate Keeper, Miss-“

 

“Mrs,” James corrected firmly.

 

The Gate Keeper’s smile didn’t falter. “I do apologise! I’ll explain everything on the way,” he told them reassuringly. “I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t wish to remain out in this dreaded mist longer than I needed to! Horrible weather we’re having…”

He disappeared again. James cocked an uncertainly eyebrow at Lily, and took her hand firmly.

 

“Well, I say we follow him,” he murmured.

 

Lily bit her lip, her eyes filled with uncertainty and a deep aching sadness that made James want to cry. “But what about-?”

 

But he couldn’t cry. Not yet. Not until he knew they would both be safe. Until then, he’d never let her go. James kissed her forehead reassuringly. “Lily, Harry will be fine. I know it – Sirius will take care of him.”

 

Lily scoffed. “Well _that’s_ comforting,” she muttered sarcastically.

 

James struggled not to smile. _That’s my girl_ , he thought affectionately.

 

Somewhere in the distance, they could still hear the Gate Keeper talking to himself.

 

Lily sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” she murmured fondly, tweaking his nose. “Let’s go, before we lose him.”

 

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**Note:  ** **Welcome to Memento Mori! I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reads and reviews this story. The response has been absolutely overwhelming - I've even picked up the 2007 _Reviewer's Choice Award_** **for Best Alternative Concept, the April 2008 _Gold TML Eagle Award_** **for a Lily/James story, and even a 2008 _Hourglass Award_** **nomination for Best Drama (we'll see how that goes) - and it's all thanks to you guys!!**

**I hope you enjoy the story, and please remember- reviews (appreciations, constructive criticism and/or flames) are always welcome!**

**Lexie**

 


	2. Death for the Inaccessible

**Disclaimer : Anything that is in any way affiliated with Harry Potter (I’m talking characters, setting etc.) belongs to JKR. I just like to play with her ideas.**

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_I'm staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain._

_I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing._

_And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

_Well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong,_

_And where your love has always been enough for me,_

_I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong._

_I don't regret this life I chose for me._

_But these places and these faces are getting old,_

_So I'm going home._

_\- Home._ Chris Dauntry

 

**Death for the Inaccessible**   
_8 February 2003_

Really, when you thought about it, life was simply an arrival, just as death was simply a departure.

 

Harry Potter gazed into the fluttering fabric that covered the old stone archway thoughtfully.

Although not an Unspeakable, being Head Auror had its perks. Or, rather, being _Harry Potter_ had its perks. Which more or less meant that the Unspeakables let him into this room, because he already knew of its secrets.

 

The large, rectangular room that Harry had first stumbled across at the age of fifteen seemed to have shrunken over the years. The great rows of stone benches that ran around the walls seemed a little less cold and oppressive: and the great archway, whilst no less impressive, did not seem half so fearsome, anymore.

 

Harry often came here, just to think. He would sit upon the stone benches and stare at the spot where Sirius had died, and he would just… be. Just to be was a gift, when you were Harry Potter.

 

Over the years Harry had become quite well acquainted with the old archway: so much so that he no longer heard the distant, incoherent whispers. Instead, he heard snatches of laughter, and occasionally, conversation. Some days, he could even pick the voices: Sirius would remark something completely inappropriate, a man would laugh, and a female voice would chastise him. Sometimes, the man had Lupin’s laugh, and the woman Tonk’s wry amusement. More often than not, though, Harry suspected the voices were those of his parents: his father deeply amused by his old friend, and his mother fondly disapproving.

 

Once, several years ago, Ginny had accompanied him on a visit. He had watched as the woman he loved approached the great arch, hands stretched out timidly. He had not asked what she had heard, for the tears running down her face had been knowledge enough, and her evident distress had quickly ended their visit. Ginny knew that this place was his sanctuary: she knew of the voices, and of the love he felt present in that great room, and she understood his compulsion to return, even though she herself did not feel it. Ginny Potter heard screams when she approached the veil, just as he himself had heard, once.

 

She had not accompanied him again. Instead, she had kissed him soundly and reminded him to be home in time for tea.

 

Sometimes, Harry would talk to the veil, and he fancied that he heard the voices pause to listen. He had visited scarce days after defeating Voldemort; and once again when he had been planning to propose to Ginny. Although the voices never responded, it was an odd comfort to know that just maybe, they could hear his voice, just as he heard them. And Harry Potter needed comfort.

 

“Ginny’s pregnant,” he whispered to the veil, watching it flutter as the voices paused.

 

“She’s pregnant, and I’m happy, I really truly am happy…”

 

He imagined the emotions that would filter across their faces. Lily pleased but concerned, and James gripping her hands proudly, Sirius beaming, Lupin and Tonks grinning with excitement…

 

“But I’m scared,” Harry continued softly.” I don’t know how to be a father… to be in a family. Which isn’t your fault,” he added hurriedly. “I just… I need my family, and you’re all I have.”

 

It almost seemed cruel; that they could sit there, separated by a simple grey veil, and yet be so far away.

 

Harry pressed his hands to the thin, fluttering veil, feeling nothing but air. The veil did not exist in life: only in death, would he be able to examine its intricate folds.

 

This inaccessibility of death was it’s cruelest blow by far.

 

“Harry?”

 

Harry jumped, glancing at the veil ludicrously. _Was it possible?_

 

“No, you idiot, over here!”

 

And Harry registered it was the voice of his best friend and brother in law, who strolled down through the great amphitheatre to greet him. Ron’s eyes were shining with glee, and as they met halfway, he embraced Harry. Harry patted his back awkwardly, confused.

Ron pulled away, his beam every bit as bright as Harry had imagined Sirius’ to be, and suddenly he understood. A slow smile filtered across his face.

 

“A father, Harry!” Ron was saying, his eyes huge. “You, you and Gin… Merlin, I can’t imagine it. That’s fantastic news!”

 

Harry grinned, raking a hand through his hair. “It is. I can’t believe it.” His voice was a hoarse whisper, as though to speak his disbelief aloud would be to prove the whole situation a figment of his imagination.

 

“Hermione’s going to be at _me_ for kids, now, mind you, and honestly… You know how she is!”

 

Harry grinned. “Look, if I can be a father, I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Family’s important,” he added softly.

 

Ron nodded sagely. “Oh yes – speaking of family, Gin wants you home soon to tackle Mum and Dad. You know how Mum was when Fleur fell pregnant, and since Ginny’s the only daughter _…_ ”

 

Harry gave his second-in-command a salute. “Right you are, I’d better hurry then - but I’ll see you tonight, yeah? Dinner?”

 

Ron eyed the Veil apprehensively as Harry made his way back toward the entrance.

 

Suddenly realizing he was very nearly alone, Ron gave a shout, breaking into a run to catch up with his best friend.

 

Waiting by the doorway, Harry gave the Veil a reluctant smile. _Sorry about the interruption_ , the smile seemed to say. _I have to get back to living. But I’ll come back soon, I promise…_

 

* * *

**Note: Thank you so much to Christy Corr for helping me learn the ropes with layout – I appreciate it more than I can say!**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts! Characterisations are always a difficult thing to negotiate, and so feedback will always be appreciated!**

 

**Thank you for reading,**

**Lexie**


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